Tale of Two Tracy’s
Posted November 9, 2010on:
I struggle really hard to be an upbeat, positive person. I’m a Christian, I want to set the best example out there. I want people to see the good. Sure, I’ve mentioned my chronic pain. I even casually mentioned that I just recently needed 7 units of blood because I was dying. (Trust me, I’m too young for that.) But sometimes, it gets too hard. Nicky has taken some really cruel shots (verbal) at me. He’s said things that have really taken me aback and have pierced my heart.
He has autism, I can’t smack him for his nasty, snide remarks, but the difficult part is, where did he get the words he used against me. They weren’t something that he’d come up with on his own. I know he’s been bugged because he isn’t the center of the attention all the time now, but it can’t always be that way. But he gets so resentful with me even when I ask him to the smallest of tasks. He’s also 13 and that doesn’t help matters. And this is where I get scared. Will nurture win over nature? His father was a rapist, a molester, and a drug user, not to mention an abuser… Nicky wasn’t brought up in those surroundings, I got wise enough to leave the man before I ever gave birth. But does the father’s wickedness run through his veins as well? Gosh, I pray not. If anyone does bother to read this, feel free to comment. Input would be good here. I love my son more than anything on earth, it doesn’t matter how he came to being.